At Dando, we love our mums. Some of us also love being mums—well, most of the time.
Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and to celebrate, we want to share some of the unique motherly advice we have ever received (or dispensed).
So, in no particular order, here are Dando’s rather specific words of motherly wisdom:
On health: “If you’re not bleeding or vomiting, you’re fine.”
On love: “There is nothing romantic about being poor.”
On sport: “You can’t play football. It’s a thugs’ game—you’ll get hurt…” (before being made to play field hockey).
On fashion: “Never wear Ugg Boots.”
On work: “Just give it a bit of elbow grease.”
On finance: “Save all your cents and eventually you’ll have a dollar.”
On life: “You’ll have worse than that before you die.”
And in honour of the motherly festivities for 2018—here are the top three motherly sayings that aren’t quite as effective as they used to be:
1. “Because I said so. That’s why.”
Arguing with mum about anything was always an uphill battle. No matter what point you were trying to make, or what chore you were trying to get out of, she always had a response that had no comeback or no potential for further questioning.
But these days, kids do have a comeback: it’s called Google. You ask mum why you have to do your homework and she counters with: “Because I said so.” But now you can Google: Is homework really beneficial? and surely find an article to back up your argument.
Wanting to know why you have to drive to your uncle’s place? Mum comes back with: “Because I said so.” A couple of seconds later you have a plethora of statistics why staying at home would be better for the environment.
Desperate to get that kitten in the window but mum won’t let you? You argue the point and get back: “Because I said so.” Then you present mum with a list entitled: 25 reasons why every child should have a pet, and suddenly you have the upper hand.
Yep, “Because I said so” just doesn’t cut it anymore.
2. “They don’t make ’em like they used to.”
They certainly don’t—but that’s because everything they’re making these days is from a science fiction movie.
Technology is advancing so quickly that nobody can keep up: tablets; phones; artificial intelligence; self-serve everything; driverless cars.
With the advancement of technology, soon enough the only thing we’ll be able to say they didn’t make like they used to will be the robots building all the new technology for us.
3. “You’ll understand when you’re a parent.”
Ah, this old chestnut. That guilt-trip way of getting you not to do something, for fear of it being done to you someday.
The problem with this technique is that, children can’t think of anything past obtaining the next chocolate chip cookie—let alone what their own parenthood will be like.
And with how insanely busy the modern world is, new parents don’t even do all the work anyway. Now the grandparents are doing so much of the babysitting that the joke is on them—they never even got a break after they finished being parents the first time around.
So, just remember, if you sit too close to this article, it’ll hurt your eyes.
In the modern world, where technology is meant to make everything easier, it would seem that being a mum is no easier than it has ever been.
Just spoil your mum this Mother’s Day … and then spoil her every other day of the year too—she deserves it.